UNCLE JIM MOULTON'S PRAYER
O Almighty Father, maker of Heaven and Earth; thou dids’t make man in thine own image as rulers over the earth; Thou dids't teach thy servant Noah to make wine and thou dids't punish him for intemperate use of it. Thine own son transformed water into wine at the Wedding at Cana, when the juice of the grapes was exhausted so that the enjoyment of the guests might not be disturbed. Luther says “He that loveth not wine, women and song remaineth a fool all his life long”, so all the good men upon this earth are drinking the wine thou hast given thy people upon this earth.
Oh Lord, pity the ladies for they wear not the colour of the flesh thou hast given them and not content with nature, paint their faces. Thou can perceive their headdress consists of false hair and when they open their mouths thou can see false teeth. Kindly take notice of the spiral springs and cotton contrivance they wear in their bosoms, for no other purpose than to make themselves voluptuous and to create in man a much worse passion than the use of wine. For the same reason they wear a number six foot into a number three shoe and a number forty waist pinched into a thirty-six corset. Oh Lord, pity those ladies and give them sense to see their own foolishness and thy will be the praise forever. Amen.